I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
