I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
