69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
