She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
