Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
