Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
