let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Randomize
