Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize