Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
