she kept yelling 'call me bella'
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
