once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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