Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
