Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
