I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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