did you get engaged???
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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