Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
