a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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