i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
