This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
