he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
