Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
