why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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