Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
