Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize