just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
