You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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