haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
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