I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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