I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
