Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
