I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
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