planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
