My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
