How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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