I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
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