He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I queefed so loud it echoed.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
