i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
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