In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
