Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize