So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
