North Korea, Best Korea!
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize