It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
