What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
