All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
