I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
birth control should be required to get into college
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
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