If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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