areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
