Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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