she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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