I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
