is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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