just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
