i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
