i just google imaged poop.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
