can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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