Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
