I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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