Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
so that wasnt chicken after all
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
