That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
