you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
That accounts for only three of the penises
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
