I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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