He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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