Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
