I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
